The Seven Habits of Highly Effective Cult Leadersby Dan Geddes
Successful techniques for establishing and maintaining a religious cult have changed dramatically since the cult heyday of the 1970s. Although the pool of gullible hippies from affluent families has shrunk, an increasing disillusionment with our consumption-obsessed society has left millions desperate to find answers.
While effective cult leaders have always been able to leverage the dreams of the dependent and co-dependent, the new millenium has opened up rare opportunities for those cult leaders with the boldness and vision to exploit them. The rise of cable television and the Internet provide rich media to supplement the word-of-mouth buzz upon which cult formation has always relied.
The Seven Habits of Highly Effective Cult Leaders
Grooming
Your personal appearance must be polished at first. Only later can you degenerate into bad hygiene. You will seem more spiritual that way. But be careful, if you "go natural" too early in the cult’s development, you will just be smelly, and will destroy your cult in its infancy.
Strength
You should be physically much stronger than everyone in your cult. This gives you the appearance of vitality, and makes others look up to you. It’s also helpful in case of dire moments when you are unmasked as a fraud. To help preserve your relative strength, keep your followers on a low protein diet. And we mean low. This affects both muscle mass and brain function.
Delegation
Delegate all undesirable tasks. Learn to get the most from your disciples with the least effort.
Time Management
Do not waste time on trivial personages within the cult, especially time burglars, who ask annoying questions about the holes in your teaching. Buy The Cult Leader’s Day Planner™ to help schedule the only crucial meetings (with your first disciple and accountant).
Humility
You must maintain the perception that you are the meekest, kindest, godliest person in your flock, despite the fact you drive the most expensive car—bought with their money. They may well be cleaning up your excrement as well. Do not let that trouble you.
Fellowship
Few things can create a sense of community more than Jello-O™, which is always comforting. Stock up on it.
Mind Control
Make your followers sleep to the sounds of a television playing your own infomercials. Controlling your followers’ thoughts is important tool in maintaining your relative strength.
How to Establish a Successful Cult
Note: A slightly modified version of this paper was originally presented at the 1998 International Council of Itinerant Cult Leaders’ Enterprise (ICICLE) symposium in Vero Beach, Florida.
Establishing a successful cult demands unceasing sacrifice on the part of the cult leader, without whom the cult is unthinkable. Many people have tried to start their own cults without proper training, often with disastrous results. Such ill-trained attempts are usually characterized by a conviction that people are gullible enough to believe in anything, however preposterous. While human history does indeed bear out this belief, it also teaches the critical role played by dynamic individuals in imparting these false "truths." For most people do not believe in specific religious ideas—which when analyzed often lead to hopeless contradiction or confusion. Instead, people believe in other people whom they believe have greater powers or understanding than themselves. They need to rely on the conviction of others, and this is precisely what you need to supply.
Conceptualizing Your Cult
For your first exercise, you will decide on your target demographic, and formulate the theme of your cult.
Few cult leaders have enough dynamism to start their own belief-systems from scratch. Instead, you will probably have to compete with more established traditions. In America, this probably means the Christian or "countercultural" traditions—but not necessarily. During this time of idea-formation, it is important to let your ideas flow freely. America is all about diversity, and this opportunity for choice extends to cults as well. Don’t forget that.
Think about your own intellectual strengths and religious training. If you frequently attended church during your youth, I strongly advise you to work within that tradition, as it will give you invaluable experiences to draw from. But if you have rarely attended church in your life, you should attend church for a while if you plan on working within the Christian tradition, or attend leftist gatherings if you intend on working the countercultural angle.
Of course, you could also create your own cult from your own ideas, but this requires the hard work of writing down your "beliefs" in order to garner publicity. But if you are intellectually strong, this approach has some merit. If you word your tract carefully, it will be vague enough to withstand the test of time. Besides, you are the ultimate authority about it anyway. And many people are drawn to a brand "new" philosophy.
Once you have decided on a tradition to work in, you need to develop your "hook," the selling point of your cult that makes it distinct from your competition. This should be short, memorable, and incontestable. In the golden years of the 1970s anything with "love" in it was a good bet, such as "Share the Love" or "Love is All," but these are now somewhat hackneyed.
Play to your strengths. If you have a business background, you could build a theme around "The Lord’s Blessings" or "Pray for Success." Invoke the time-honored scripture about the Lord repaying you one hundred fold for whatever you give the Lord. Many people take this literally, and will see your collection plate as an extremely efficient mutual fund. Do not divest them of these notions.
Again, if your strengths are intellectual, you are probably shooting for a disaffected countercultural demographic, which is a large demographic cluster even to this day. Christianity is usually spurned by this group, so try Buddhism, or some form of mysticism. This is also an ideal group if you want to start a belief-system from scratch. But be sure to include references to literary figures like Blake or Rilke or Allen Ginsburg, or to musicians such as Jim Morrison.
Exercise: Formulate the theme of your cult, paying special attention to your target demographic. If you are working within a conservative Christian tradition, be sure you are ready to field questions about topics such as abortion or gun control. If you are working in a vaguely "leftist" tradition, you may well be able to dismiss all political questions as pointless, but will have to be well-versed in countercultural claptrap such as the writings of the Beats or Carlos Castaneda.
Preliminary Cult Leader Training: Joining a Cult
It is absolutely essential that you devote at least three months of your life to your training, without which you are beginning your cult on a shaky foundation.
Let us assume you will be working within the "countercultural" tradition.
After you have formulated the theme of your cult, you must undertake some field research. In other words, you should join a cult.
Some would-be cult leaders have skipped this vital step to their own detriment. Joining a cult gives you a view to the inner workings of an existing cult, its leaders, and his or her followers. There’s a lot to be learned from watching a practicing cult leader. If the cult is at all successful, you will see a highly developed theme used to good effect.
I recommend joining a cult near its prime, which means it has entered its "Isolation phase," where a self-sufficient compound has been erected to ensure minimal contact with "outsiders."
This tact has its dangers—you may well end up losing your senses and forgetting your original purpose. If this happens, you were obviously not cult leader material anyway. Or perhaps, as has happened, the cult leader will spot you as a mole or a spy. If you suspect cult members are suspicious of you, you must leave immediately. Your field reconnaissance is a dangerous but necessary part of your training. Other cult leaders are correct in wanting to stamp you out.
After a few weeks, it will be time to leave the cult. This may well be the most important lesson. For one day you need to figure out how to stop people from leaving your own cult. Some cults let you leave at any time, no questions asked. Others may ask for a steep "one-time donation" until they can find someone to "replace" you. There are many policies on this. After your escape, try to formulate a policy that will work for you.
Creating Your Aura
Creating your aura isn’t difficult once you understand your target demographic.
Hair. To lead a cult in the countercultural tradition, grow your hair long. If working within the more traditional Christian tradition, cut it very short.
Eyebrows are also key. If the eyes are the windows to the soul, then the eyebrows are the curtains to the drama raging in your eyes. It is essential to develop absolute control over your eyebrow muscles. Highly developed brow muscles are required for "browbeating" skeptics into submission, or to otherwise mesmerize follows with your "intensity".
Physique. To a countercultural style cult, you should ideally be either very thin (the emaciated wise man) or well-built (physical vitality is an essential part of convincing others of your own health and dynamism). In some cases even portly individuals can lead cults, but this is usually due to believers’ unconsciously associating you with the Buddha. Do not discourage such comparisons.
Speaking. For a countercultural cult, you should probably adopt a soft, soothing speaking voice, as you have already discovered the great truths of the beyond. Strident, powerful speaking is reserved for leftist political activists who are angry about things. You are selling peace tranquility and "dropping out" from the world, not political activism.
Infallible Pronouncements. Once you are established, you will have to adopt an oracle’s tone of voice. It is essential for you to develop a high tolerance for contradiction early on. Contradictions may be noted by some of your brighter followers, who must be silenced or removed the group. Thus, it is important to have ready retorts if others point out your contradictions, like: "Consistency is the hobgoblin of little minds" (Emerson) or "I contain multitudes." (Whitman)—best said in a bellowing voice. If you’re working within the Christian tradition, you can use the ever-handy "The Lord works mysterious ways."
First Disciple
Early in your practice, even perhaps before your first public appearance, you will need to discover the one person who believes in you implicitly. This person must be willing to walk through fire for you, and will hopefully be unfazed by the frequent contradictions you will eventually be uttering. Frequently such a person seems a unlikely, even ridiculous choice (a former convict, a fallen minister, a recovering drug addict still on the brink), but he or she will prove handy in convincing others you are a worthy cult leader, and can also perform countless thankless tasks on your behalf.
It is vital that your first disciple actually believes in you. Past cult leaders who have tried to have a trusted confidante knowingly "play the part" of first disciple have usually met disaster. The Cult Leader and First Disciple were usually caught gloating together (often seated before a table loaded with cash). The secret they share is too irresistible. No, the Cult Leader must walk a solitary path, and trust no one; that is his strength.
After one person has been genuinely convinced of your powers, then the precedent has been set, and other people can always point to the first disciple’s conviction, and then each other’s, as evidence of your calling.
The Cult in Embryo
Now that you’ve completed your training, it’s time to get your cult off the ground.
College campuses are excellent places to begin cults, as there are so many young people searching for the answers to life’s questions. College students are still at an age, where they are open to new ideas, as they must be to join your cult. If your promotions budget is small, you may start with posting flyers in the student union. But be sure to include a picture of yourself on the flyer—not just text. This is a cult after all. This is about you. If you are photographed at an oblique angle sitting insouciantly, students will understand the message that you have new ideas.
During the first meeting, do not let on that it is the first meeting. Say that you’ve just been hanging out in Madison, Wisconsin, where they loved you. You didn’t want to leave, but you were called to this town (leaving it open whether God, or your old college roommate called you). This town is open to new ideas.
This is your big chance; don’t blow it. Hopefully you have carefully planned the format of your cult’s "meeting" or "service" or "gathering." Music is essential, but you should get someone else to play musical instruments for you, even if you have musical ability. (Though leading the singing is OK during the early days of the cult.)
Your "message" will probably be some variation on the theme that "society" has deteriorated, and that only grassroots movements such as your own can recapture authentic spirituality. Organized religion is an obvious and easy target, and one of your main enemies—after all, you are not yet organized. Other familiar targets include "the government," "the media," and "big business."
Your cult should provide promising answers to some of life’s most vexing questions, including:
The Afterlife. You should absolutely promise one. You lose nothing. It is the ultimate post-dated check.
Good vs. Evil. It’s clear who is who here. You and your followers are the elect, the good. Most of the rest of the world is suffering from the illusion of evil. But blame the evil on the devil, or someone else similarly unaccountable. The world is misguided, not willfully evil.
The Meaning of Life. Clearly, it is to serve God, or whatever you call your particular absolute end. Earthly considerations (including responsibilities to family, friends, society) are not so important.
After preparing the soil of your followers’ minds by attacking common enemies, you are ready to share your own "testimony." This has got to be good. Your testimony should include such classic themes as Abusive Parents, Broken Homes, Drug Abuse, and personal struggles with evil itself. You were a normal person, too, before your calling. Perhaps you had a mystical experience, after which you understood the Interrelatedness of All Things, or the Cosmic Oneness. (Feel free to use a slightly new phrase here, or else people will not feel compelled to follow you personally.) Remember that your testimony may be your greatest single asset. It is a enriched version of your life-story. It is key that it is memorable and easily summarizable. That it is a good meme. People with astonishing life-stories has started all successful religions. Learn from them.
Cultivating the Cult
In an age of cynicism, your most difficult task is generating enthusiasm. People must be leaving your gatherings talking amongst themselves that you are "amazing" or "incredible."
Like any good marketing campaign, your cult must focus on certain demographic clusters. Although you may come to believe you are universally charming, in reality you will never appeal to all people.
Be selective. Follow these two cardinal rules:
- There are vast oceans of gullible people out there, so don’t waste your valuable time on skeptics.
-Target people with low self-esteem.
Next Month, "Part II—Cashing in Your Chips: Cult Termination"
[ July 12, 2002: Message edited by: Noitall ]
posted July 09, 2002 17:59
posted July 09, 2002 23:47
posted July 10, 2002 05:31
posted July 11, 2002 16:11
posted July 11, 2002 17:59
posted July 12, 2002 01:12
Interesting too that people like this are quite happy to live in the world (or their mum's basement) and be 'fakes' too than create their own utopia.
