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Topic: Drunk at work disguises?
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El Indio
VoivodFan
Member # 18
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posted May 03, 2003 13:19
    
Many years ago when I still worked for the Free Press I got off work one friday night at 11 p.m. and went directly to a hottub party and proceeded to engage in some serious drinking. After spending the evening sprawled out around the tub, I somehow got my things togethor and reported back to work for the 7 a.m. saturday shift when I had to do a bunch of deliveries for the North Island News. To this day I do not know how I made it back to work but somehow I did. I just stumbled in to the plant drunker than a skunk and who should I meet up with but the plant manufacturing supervisor - a battle-ax named Mary. I just staggered right up to her with a huge smile on my face - and reaking like booze - and said, "Shi Shmary, howsh shits shgoing?" I then turned around and staggered out to the loading bay where luckily my swamper was busy loading our delivery van. Also while I was somehow making my way to the bay, another lady named Norma mentioned something to me about a certain delivery I had to do. I remember slurring some sort of reply to her but the crazy thing about what I said is that no-one including myself had the foggiest idea about what I said! I just muttered something completely incomprehensible and kept stumbling towards the bay. Needless to say that I took everyone by surprise for most of them had a funny shmirk on their faces. Luckily most of the people probably didn't care very much anyways for many a heavy drinker works in the printing industry. Yes it was just lucky that I had a swamper with me that day for he had to do all the driving while I stagered around doing the deliveries to various bemused individuals. In fact my swamper had to literally help me get into the passenger side of the van and also help me buckle the seatbelt. "Shed goods shthings syour sdriving shtoday," I slurred, "Stheres shalt of shbad shdrivers shout there, shomeone shmight shget shurt!" I used to enjoy bugging my coworkers around the loading bay especially in the winter months. Whenever I had to open the bay door, a nice freezing cold draft would come into the plant much to my coworkers chagrin. "Hey shut the door, we're freezing!", they would cry out. This would prompt me to shout back at them, "Hey, cool it!" or "Some people are so cold!" or "Hey, chill out!" Quite often I would jump into the van and take off without even bothering to shut the door. Another favorite trick of mine was to back the van into the bay and then open the door while the truck was still idling which meant that everyone would get a nice healthy doze of exhaust fumes. Sometimes I would jump into the front of the van and then rev the engine a few times before putting it into gear and peel out - which usually left a nice cloud for my coworker's enjoyment. 
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posted May 02, 2003 15:49
